I am learning to see things in a new way around here. Ever since this pup came into our lives, I have been in “school” 24/7 — learning all about dogs, how best to care for, raise, feed, enrich and love them. As someone who did not grow up with dogs (used to be afraid of them in fact), this has been a massive learning curve for me. Some people are just naturally dog or pet people at heart. For me, it has been more of a gravitational pull in this direction. I love little Spruce so much, but there have been growing pains for all of us. We have gotten over some of the training humps, and we are understanding each other better as the days go by.
There are new perspectives daily, and today I realized that we are trusting each other more. Lately we have let Spruce run off leash at home for short periods of time while we are with him, and he is showing us that we can trust him not to run off. As long as he knows he can get a treat when he comes back, he is doing what he loves – running with glee and then circling back to us for a quick treat before running off again. He never runs far or out of sight – quite honestly he loves to run in circles, doing laps. We are learning this about him, and he is showing us that we can trust him to do what he loves. It’s pretty cool. And it is important, as we have a lot going on here and we need to be able to figure out ways to communicate and trust each other even more during the busy spring planting season.
Daily life has picked up around here and Spruce has surely noticed. After dark nights of mostly huddling around the fire, there are now chores after dinner, extra time to play outside, and even the occasional sunset walk. We are gearing up for a few weeks of intense planting — the first few 2022 apples trees are in the ground already, with a bunch more on the way, as well as other various fruit and nut trees. It’s fun to watch Spruce’s eyes come alive with curiosity as he sees us doing this and that and generally just moving around a lot more than we did all winter long. Not only am I excited for what’s in store this spring with the tree and shrub plantings, but I’m looking forward to seeing it through the eyes and tail wags of this sweet pup. We have some hurdles and challenges ahead to get all of these plants in the ground, but hopefully by next month’s update we will have our own little orchard taking root.
Shadow and light. That is what I reflected about only briefly over here the other day. There is so much injustice and sadness in our world, but this latest tragedy, an unnecessary Russian attack on Ukraine, is an enormously unjust war. It’s hard to talk or write about much else at this time. So I’ll just share some photos of the shadows that were captured on the beautiful white powder the other day after our first significant snowfall of the season.
And here we are now at March 1st. We have been working hard trying to get fencing ordered so Spruce can get a larger area to play; and trellis & supplies ordered for the orchard. We got our first email from a nursery today confirming delivery of our first new fruit trees of the season in just a few weeks. And despite all the snow on the ground, we can feel the pace picking up — spring plantings and projects are all ready and eager to sprout. And they will.
But right now I feel a bit stuck – and burnt out too – from the endless bad-news cycle. We were fortunate to get to go on a wonderful vacation to Costa Rica a few weeks ago (a trip we were supposed to take pre-pandemic) and it was really restful and special. We are so thankful we were finally able to make it happen — and cherish the memories — but it does seem VERY far away now. We are back to reality and mostly it is a good one in our little homestead bubble. But the weight of the world feels heavy right now. It has been an exhausting few years for just about everyone on planet Earth, and this new war sadly invites a new level of somberness to everything. I recognize there are many other tragedies playing out all over the place — all kinds of injustices that amazing human heroes and heroines tackle day in and day out. Today I simply recognize our many blessings and pray for peace in our world. Let’s hope we see more light and less dark shadows in the coming days and weeks.
This photo was taken one year ago, on February 2, 2021. Those yew bushes are all gone now, the front lights shown here have been replaced, and this photo does not show the new red storm doors added this past fall. Incrementally, slowly, we are making changes, fixes and improvements. And slowly the cold winter trudges on. Last year, as this photo shows, we had lots of snow…this year, we have had far less flakes, but much more bitter cold. I like documenting some of the changes and differences here, so that over the many years we will be able to look back and recall what remained the same versus what changed. The other big thing we did not have last year at this time … was this guy:
…who has been with us now almost 5 months and will turn 8 months next week. We have made changes to the landscape and physical components around the homestead, but nothing has altered the flow of daily life around here more than welcoming Spruce into our lives. We have enjoyed inviting family and friends to visit over the past year (not as many as we would have liked do to Covid…and…unfinished house projects) but adopting Spruce has certainly changed our day-to-day lives much more dramatically. And his presence is dictating the priority order of house projects for the coming months. The list of to-do’s for any old home is basically endless, but adding fencing and other elements that will improve his life, as well as ours, have moved to the top of the list. I have a zillon photos of him, but this one was snapped just a few moments ago, a tired sweet Spruce — resting — which is what all of us should be doing as best we can on these short, dark, cold winter nights.
This is the house from a few nights ago, glowing with ice all around…thankfully we are blessed with a cozy hearth inside, where we try to rest with hearts full of hope for warmer days to come. Stay warm!
Today we took a walk at Saratoga National Battlefield Park — a subdued and grey start to the year, but full of comforting shades of golds and browns, against the dull foggy sky. We remembered that it was four years ago today that we took a walk in Maryland that put our dreams in motion and steered us along the very path that led us to where we are today. We were filled with hope and excitement back then, and the more we talked about it, the more things started to happen, and now here we are.
The world has changed so dramatically in these past four years, we could have never imagined that the pandemic, and life as we all knew it pre-Covid, would be our new global reality. We are still filled with hope, for our dreams here in this little slice of upstate New York, and for our nation and world. But it is harder to see it and hang on to it some days. I try to focus on the good stuff, the positives of each day, because that is what matters most — the little gifts, moments to be grateful for, mini-treasures — but it has not been easy. Becoming a homeowner, and now also a puppy owner, have both been very rewarding, but certainly challenging, the latter being way more than I was prepared to handle well. But we are managing and we will be fine — because we are still so blessed — we have our health, a home, and many other blessings we are thankful for. Sure, it has been tough at times, but others have had to endure true pain, loss, hardship that we can’t begin to fathom.
Hope has holes in its pockets. It leaves little crumb trails, so that we, when anxious, can follow it. Hope’s secret: it doesn’t know the destination– it knows only that all roads begin with one foot in front of the other.
The holiday season is upon us and we are full of joy and gratitude. (We are also lacking sleep, thanks to our new puppy, but we are of course grateful for him too.) We head into our second December, winter and year in this house with full hearts — thankful for all that we have and hopeful for the future. These continue to be challenging times for many, with Covid still very much with us, but we are focused on that silver lining and wishing 2022 will bring more brightness and goodness to all.
I wrote about our Thanksgiving travel and our first year anniversary on Instagram, I find myself using that platform more than this one to chronicle our homestead adventures. But I still like checking in here once a month just as a pause, to acknowledge the journey we are on, so in the future we can look back over the years and see how to all started.
Have a safe, peaceful and happy holiday season. See you in the new year.
We are very close to hitting the one year anniversary of when we closed on this home, and then later in the month, when we moved in. Deciding to buy a home is a big decision under any circumstances, but deciding to relocate and purchase our first home in the midst of the pandemic was risky, maybe even a little crazy, and is just a dizzy blur now. We had been on the path headed in this direction since back in 2018, even before that, but we could have never imagined what our world would be like while we were actually going through the motions. I’m recalling now that we also voted in the presidential election during this same month — so much has happened since then, and before too. Really anything after March 2020 is masked in a fog or haze of some sort now. I always think when I sit down to write here each month that I’ll have time to discern and share some special truth to reflect on or some new lesson to learn, but in the end I’m usually tired and just focused on the present moment. The perspective that usually comes to me the easiest and quickest these days is just a deep sense of gratitude for all that has transpired and all the good fortune we have had. Second to that is sadness for all the struggles, illness, loss that so many have dealt with during these past two years. I guess if I had to sum it all up, the days seem to undulate between gratitude and grief — daily thanks for things/people/moments great and small; then waves of sadness and disbelief for all the people, memories, jobs, dreams lost. I don’t think I’m able to write an adequate monthly update about life on the homestead because life in general is just too dense — sometimes this is a blessing, when it’s overflowing with good news; but sometimes the brain is just too overloaded with all the stuff — and each of us knows what that is because we all have it. So now, as in the past, when I’m at a loss for words that might be insightful or interesting in any way, I just turn to photos to sum up where we are at now — most thankful to have lived nearly a year in this home, on this land, in this beautiful part of the world.
Spruce checking out his backyard for the first time.
We have wanted to have a dog for a long time. Even before this home, we were talking about it — but we lived in city apartments for years and knew we were going to relocate so it never felt like the right time. The past few months up here we interviewed and became approved adopters with several rescue and adoption agencies in upstate New York, and last month, on Sept. 19th, we met this adorable pup at an event close to our house. Three days later, on Sept 22 — the first full day of Fall — we brought him home and its been a busy, fun, sleepless journey since then. Honestly, it has not been too bad with the lack of sleep — just mornings that begin earlier than usual, but we are morning folks anyway. Spruce just makes them start a tad earlier, and sometimes he does let us go back to sleep for a bit longer after the first break outside. Thank goodness he is potty trained — he is only 4 months old this week — but he knows when its time to go, and that it always needs to happen outside. That is a huge relief, as we do have other things to work on — commands, playing, too much obsession with treats — these are all tasks we need some help with. And we have a trainer coming next week, really to train us more than him! But overall, this sweet guy is really well behaved, calm, chill and does very good in the car too. We don’t know what breeds he is but we know he is a mix and we are betting he is half pointer. We will take a DNA test soon to find out — his name seems appropriate because all he likes to do it pick up twigs and tree branches! We let him walk with them in his mouth but make sure he doesn’t bite on anything for too long…he even lets me go in and grab them out of his mouth when he is having trouble chewing on them. Sometimes he will try to bite a little, but super playful and a lot more licking instead. He also roams around fields of Christmas trees, and plays in the shadow of some large Norway spruce trees near our driveway, so the name seems to fit. Mark and I came up with it a long time ago, joking about how fans say Brrrrruuuuucccceee at a Springsteen concert, and we thought it would be fun to do similar with a dog. And now here we are, with a pup who still does not know his name yet, but is learning and gaining smarts and skills each day. He doesn’t know “sit” very well, but he does know “stay”, and we are working on fetching or giving, but cute little guy, he just does not get it yet. No matter, he is adorable and full of love, curiosity and wonder, and that brings us much joy, no matter how tired we may be come days end.
Welcome to the homestead Spruce!
He already claimed his spot in front of the woodstove, but we will have to move him back some!
I like to hold myself to these monthly check-ins but sometimes I’m just too busy to give them proper time. There is so much happening each month, around the house and also – during these summer months – out and about as well. Although pandemic concerns persist, we did venture a bit farther from home this month to visit family in NJ and CT and of course did plenty of exploring in our own area closer to home. We took a break from thinking about house projects, orchard projects, work projects for our job…well, we tried really hard to do this. We were able to take a bit of a mental break by physically getting away from home for awhile. A change of scenery has done us some good and I think – and hope – it will find us renewed and reenergized to tackle some of our lofty goals and more tedious to-do tasks for the homestead during the fall and winter seasons. I hope to make these monthly updates more robust with recaps of what we actually have done and highlight some of our long-term plans. But right now it is easiest and smartest to just take one day at a time, appreciate the breather we have given ourselves, and focus on the ebbs and flows of each day. It’s really all we can handle, and all that any of us can handle, with all that goes on in our daily lives, and in our communities and in the world around us. We’ve been blessed with several beautiful rainbows this summer, which I always find to be a wonderful reminder of how the bright and grey always mix to produce some degree of positive end results. We will keep slogging through the grey of the every day, knowing that there will always be slivers of color to come.
During July we enjoyed hosting family members who came to visit us, and we traveled south to see loved ones too. Summer gifts us with long days but they seem especially long and full here at home. With no buildings nearby to block the sun, we see the light early and it stays with us late. The only thing making the days a tad shorter now is that the crazy tall corn stalks all around the house block the sun from reaching us as often as it did back at the solstice.
In addition to fun times with family (including swimming, hiking & grilling), we had some good house project successes this month. I finished staining the nine new windows we bought over the winter, so they match the original wood molding color and blend in quite nicely. It was a hard job mostly because I had never done anything like it before — and required a lot of patience between drying coats, but proud of myself for getting it done. Mark became master of the pool and the grill this month. The pool was especially tricky at first to get a handle on when we opened it, but he stuck with it and now it’s doing great. We also got our wood stove cleaned out and had some work done in the basement. Finally, in terms of other larger projects, we worked with a wonderful local craftsman and door expert to repair and restore our two sets of pocket doors.
We are switching gears for the coming month and going to try and focus on two things — First, enjoying more time with family and friends — visits here and travel for us away from home too. Second, tasks related to our orchard. It’s a perfect month to take a break from house projects (although some tasks from the Fall to-do list might make an early appearance) to take stock of where we are with the orchard and upcoming spring 2022 plantings. There is a lot of fall prep that needs to be done, and August is a great month for planning it all out and doing some of the needed advance work. Taking a break from house projects will be good.
So will all the relaxing time with those we love — while the weather remains warm and those long days keep gifting us more time, we will enjoy as much as we can. It has been extremely wet this summer with double the usual rainfall (which had made irrigation a project we can put off until next year!) and lately we have also had some VERY cool days. No complaints here — considering the devastating heat and flooding in other parts of the world. But we hope it warms up enough to enjoy a good dip in the pool. Not wishing for a heat wave but a few warmer days would be nice. Much to be grateful for as the height of summer passes and the next season seems not that far off.
This week, for obvious reasons, I keep coming back to this quote from The Dirty Life:
“The heat came down on us like a solid thing, as though to make up for the frigid winter. The pace of growth redoubled. In the North Country, the plants have to seize the day. You could practically hear them growing; I imagines the cells dividing and madly redividing with tiny pops, the pace of their metababolism stoked by the abundance of light, heat and rain.” — Kristin Kimball, The Dirty Life
This period in our lives has been one of much growth and transformation. But now that we are settling in to the homestead, we are really honing in on all the growth around us — the grasses, flowers, shrubs, trees and their various fruits, seeds and blossoms. Every day something new buds or blooms. There is all the naturally occurring life, then the plants that the previous owners put in the ground, and now the trees and fruit shrubs that we have planted in our infant orchard. And then there is my garden, where the highs and lows and woes have been plenty.
Our tiny homestead is nothing like the Kimball’s massive Essex Farm operation, but I related to her comment about the plants seizing the day — we are intently aware of this — and the harsh winter seems all too near in both the past and future. Our little successes and failures in growth seem so intense — because we are are keenly tuned to them day in and out. We pay attention to the weather so much more — and rejoice when we don’t have to drag the hoses out for a few days in the summer swelter because the rain gods have blessed us. We are humbled by the multitude of “pests” but really they are just the animals who were here first. We need to figure out how to work around them to grow our own food, but without upsetting their natural habitat — it’s a balance I was not adequately prepared for, but we are learning. Right now I’m still in a stage of feeling defeated by them and unsure of exactly who the perpetrators of my sad novice garden have been. The fence openings are fairly small but we think the rabbits and chipmunks, maybe voles too and possibly some hungry birds? I did discover one big success today — one of the squash flowers WAS indeed pollinated and there is a baby zucchini growing — for some reason the critters have not touched the squash plants yet, but I fear it is only a matter of time. I grew those squash from seed inside this winter. It’s a small success but to me it feels giant. The herb garden near the barn fairs better than the main garden plot laid out too far from the house, but even that is not what I expected. It’s certainly not the fault of the plants — they have the fervor that Kimball alludes to and before the pests found them, they were thriving beautifully in that cycle of sun and rain that made them grow with joy. I see the potential and possibilities, and I will try again next year.
For now, we surrender to the long hot days — we have slowed down some, our bodies and minds require it. But we have also turned to other tasks, all of which must be done in early morning or late evening, as long as this heat persists. We water, chop and pile wood for winter, mow and cut grass, and continue planning for the next phases of our orchard. But we will also grill and read and swim and spend time laughing and relaxing with family and friends this summer. It’s what this season wants us to do. We are trying to honor its wishes while growth continues all around us.
Last month in this Instagram post I talked about my very large to-read pile and a month later, only ONE (The Dirty Life, duh) has been finished! And two more books were gifted to me in the meantime, so I’m actually down even more. But that’s OK — I’m still not allowed to buy any more books, or even let myself go to the library to borrow any, because I really do want to read the unfinished ones I have. So I’m circling back with resolve to READ much more this summer. We are also finally taking a breath on house projects — some major critical things needed to be tackled (electric, water, windows) — not glamorous but definitely the important things to invest in first. The rest is mostly stuff that we really want to do, or sort of want to do, or not sure if its worth doing — and so the approach for these long hot summer days should be to do less and simply mull more. We have to live here longer before we make decisions about upgrades or renovations. And so both inside and out, the homestead is leading us to slow down and just live in the moment for these summer months. With the passing of the summer solstice, the long days are already shortening, but the fireflies are dancing each evening and the birds chirping each morning, reminding us to stop and enjoy the best parts of this season. Also, we will be watching corn slowly grow, literally all around us — its a great do-nothing summer activity! Stay cool and enjoy your summer too!
The Hearth Homestead 